Tuesday, March 20, 2012

that thatch, natch

Thought I'd log back in here specially to comment on one small facet of the Great Pubic-Hair Debate of the Early 2000s.

[Lest what I'm about to say be misunderstood,* let me preface it by saying that (1) I think people should do whatever they want with their pubic hair, and (2) I myself, for reasons maybe as simple as that I was "reading" Playboy in the '80s and early '90s, in fact prefer hair—so the following comments concern not the "proper" pubic-hairstyle, but rather people's attitudes toward the same.]

When the subject of pubic hair comes up (specifically women's pubic hair, I should probably note), those who are opposed to shaving or waxing (and who disapprove of people's preference therefor†) will not infrequently accuse those who prefer it bald of being pedophiles, or at least of having pedophiliac leanings. "Why do you want your women shaved or waxed?" these people say. "You clearly must be attracted to little girls."

Fuck this sally.‡ It's poorly thought out at best, and more likely disingenuous and hypocritical. Why? Because you'd have to apply the same logic to hair on other parts of the body.

Yes, grown-up women usually have pubic hair. They also usually have hair under their armpits and on their legs. If you like shaved armpits and shaved legs, does that mean you're into little girls? If you like men to shave their faces, does that mean you're into little boys?

Maybe so. And surely there are people out there who do think only creepy pedophiles would like a shaved male face. To those people I'd like, first, to apologize for grouping them in with the hypocrites and, second, to convey my sympathies regarding your unhappy predicament: to be stranded in a society of despicable perverts. But to the rest of you, I'd like to say: Shaving pubic hair is no sicker than shaving any other hair. The vagina is not magical. Pubic-hairstyles are a matter of taste.

OK, maybe the vagina is a little magical.

* The theme song of my neuroses is, "Please, God, don't let me be misunderstood." This is an expression of OCD—and because a recurring theme in the excellent And Here's the Kicker is that comedy writers often seem to have OCD, it's hard for me to put "cure OCD" too high on my self-improvement "to do" list.
† "Therefor" is a word, albeit an "archaic" one. (This is the curse of the English major.)
‡ Hahahahaha, I just said, "Fuck this sally."