Saturday, July 16, 2011

You shut the hell up! I'm a professional comedy writer!

"Why no Alt85," you ask? Because I got a job. You want me to get fired? I'm surprised at you. After all these years together!

(I will say this: I love my job, which I guess makes me one of the luckiest human beings...who's ever lived?? [Cue meteor and/or loathing of reader. Cut to me having just gotten laid off after 1½ weeks at work, then me drinking Listerine and crying in my bathtub. At least you like me again!] I do keep sort of waiting to wake up in a gel pod and realize I'm just being used for electricity by malevolent robots.)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Movies I Don't Remember, @atrubens [see also], and my innumerable porn blogs should continue apace.* And here's a picture of a sign I thought was funny:

"towed a vehicles owner expense"—sounds like some throwaway
line in a Shakespeare play that you're like, "Ehhh...I don't really
have to bother unpacking that one, I don't think. Moving on..."

* apace: wrong word?